Mission Impossible: Pause & Pray at Advent

Advent is a time to pause, pray, and anticipate the coming of the Lord. Screeeech! Did you just say, “Pause!” You’re kidding right?! This is the busiest time of the year! There are lights to hang, trees to decorate, presents to buy, cookies to bake, cards to mail, parties to plan, and gifts to wrap! Let’s make a deal. Once I get the shopping done, bake those cookies, and go to that Christmas office party, I’ll pause and pray. Who am I fooling? I’ll be too exhausted to pray. I need to prepare my heart for Jesus; and like the innkeepers, I might say to Joseph and Mary who came looking for place to rest, “I’m sorry but there’s no room in the “inn” of my life for Jesus right now.” 

How can we experience a prayerful Advent without the day’s hectic schedule overwhelming us? We look to our spiritual mother Mary to catch a glimpse of her life of prayerful contemplation. In Luke’s Gospel, Mary gives birth to Jesus and upon seeing the shepherds praising the baby Jesus, "Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her heart” (2:19). Mary finds Jesus at the age of twelve in the temple after being lost for three days, Luke tells us “Mary treasured all these things in heart” (2:51). Imagine Mary’s anxiety finding herself after a long journey to Bethlehem in labor and without lodging to give birth. Mary is interrupted by shepherds glorifying the newborn Jesus. This doesn’t sound like a situation that lends itself to contemplation. Yet Mary kept these in her heart reflecting on all God was trying to reveal to her.   

Like Mary, we need approach life as a contemplative seeking to understand all that God reveals to us in our everyday busy and stressful lives. We don’t need to join a monastery or a cloister to practice contemplation. A contemplative is a person who is attentive and watchful, an observer of details, and a good listener. A contemplative trusts that God is present and involved in every circumstance. A contemplative believes in all that is seen and unseen approaching life as a mystery. Mystery is defined not as a thrilling novel with a surprise ending; rather, mystery is about a plan that God is working through the course of everyday human events to bring us back to union with Him. Mystery is looking out at the world with eyes of faith discerning how God is acting in a particular situation to bring healing and wholeness.

During Advent, we seek to understand one of the greatest mysteries of faith – The Incarnation. God our Father who loved us so much sent his only son to be Emmanuel -- “God with us.” Jesus as fully God, but also as fully man walked the roads of Palestine and could be seen, touched, and heard. After his death and resurrection, Jesus ascended physically to heaven.

Is the Incarnation a 33 year experiment with Jesus no longer being physically with us? God is still here, in the flesh, in the Body of Christ!  Scripture uses the expression to mean the “body of believers” through which God still can be physically seen, touched, smelled, heard, and tasted explains Fr. Rolheiser. As members of the body of believers, you and I become Christ’s presence in the world by using our hands to bless people, our feet to do good, and our eyes to look out with compassion prays St. Teresa of Avila.

God is constantly touching our hearts through the people we meet and the struggles we live. Have you ever felt lonely; then a friend drops by to lend a listening ear. Is that God consoling you? Are you sick and praying for healing; a family member drives you weekly to physical therapy sessions? Is that God answering your prayer? Has God showered you with his tender loving care before you knew that is what you needed? God blessed me in this way in August.

My boys were headed to college. NO! I’m not ready to be an empty nester. Who am I, if not a mom? Quietly drowning in my misery (well maybe not so quietly), I accepted my cousin’s invitation for a girls’ beach week at Emerald Isle that fortuitously began on the same day I dropped my sons off to college. I was hesitant about going, because past family beach trips ended with my needing a vacation from the vacation. One husband, two sons, and three buddies all with their eyes fixed on me wondering where was the toilet tissue, towels, cups, breakfast, lunch, and dinner. “Mom, there are no more snacks!  Would you buy soda too?” I was the self-appointed lifeguard with a whistle between my lips annoying the heck out of my husband and the sunbathers nearby.

Driving straight from the dorms to the beach, the ladies welcomed me with smiles and hugs. The house was fully stocked, and dinner was just about ready! We gathered around the table laughing until we cried. As I stood up to clear the dishes, the ladies said, “Sit! Nina, sit!” I woke up early the next morning to brew a pot of coffee only to discover to my delight that it had already been made! I grabbed my beach chair and sat for hours by the water’s edge wondering just as in Zac Brown’s song when the tide was going to meet my chair. Back at the house, the ladies prepared dinner. During my three-day stay, these amazing women ministered to my body and soul. Surprisingly too each son phoned me (not text, mind you) to have a long conversation about a pressing issue.  

I pondered all these things in my heart trying to understand all that God was doing at the beach? What was God trying to tell me? It’s not a coincidence that the beach rental coincided with the date my sons checked into the dorms. God planned this “intervention” a year in advance knowing that if I returned from the dorms to an empty nest, I would self-combust. God placed me under the tender loving care of the Body of Christ. I felt God’s embrace through the loving actions of these merciful women. I also received the answer to my question: Who am I now? Remember my sons phoned me. God showed me that whether I live under the same roof with my sons or we are miles apart, I am always mom.

This Advent become a contemplative. Ponder what God is doing in the present circumstance. Consider the words people are saying with what they might really been saying. Think about what is happening with what might really be happening. We experience God's loving presence by touching the Body of Christ. Our challenge is to stay alert to God acting in our real, everyday lives. Day by day we see God's hand in all things. Now we can shop, play Trivial Pursuit, eat fruit cake, exchange presents, go caroling, comfort the lonely, and pray knowing that God is Emmanuel; God is with us in the midst of life, through it all, wherever we are. 

Journaling with Jesus

Who are the people in my life who have shown me the face of God?

What fears, worries, struggles, and doubts do I need to hand over to God who is always with me?

Which Saint Protects You?

In the world of social media, we hear about a YouTube video or Facebook post gone “viral.” One caught my attention:  Which Saint Did You Get?  A reader completes an online survey to learn which saint is their protector. I marveled at how often this post was shared and then to learn about the different saints protecting my friends. Saint Anthony, patron saint of lost articles, is my protector – my hero. 

Several summers ago, my sister-in-law came for a visit with her two young nephews ages five and eight years old. They had a rough start in life with little to no religious upbringing. The little five-year old was curious about the religious statues and pictures of Jesus, Mary, and the saints in my home. One day into the visit, he came running and crying that he had lost his treasured matchbox car. “Let’s send up a pray to St. Anthony to help find your car,” I said. I took the little boy’s hands in mine and prayed:

St. Anthony, St. Anthony
Please come down
Something is lost
And can't be found

Dear St. Anthony, I pray

Bring it back without delay.

“This isn’t magic,” I explained; “We have to have hope and faith.” As he went off to play, I quickly added a postscript to the prayer! “Please St. Anthony I need you now more than ever. Please help us find this toy? It would go a long way to show this boy that God exists and hears our prayers.” Soon after starting my search, I found it!  Trust me; given where the toy was wedged, without St. Anthony’s help, it would have stayed lost. I cannot begin to describe the joy on the boy’s face when I opened his hand and placed the car in his palm. This little boy became attached to my hip wanting to know more about Jesus and the saints. I sent him home with prayer cards, rosary beads, saint storybooks and all sorts of religious articles you receive in the mail. Though I haven’t seen this little boy since, I am certain that the seeds of faith were planted that day. Maybe one day he will be dunked in the waters of baptism. He’s got St. Anthony protecting him!

In every human heart God has planted a hunger, a longing for Him (CCC 27). This yearning prompts us to seek God. We are hotwired to search for God!  People are spiritually seeking scanning the horizon for what might be. Fr. Robert Barron tells us to capture the hearts of people we need to:  “Lead with the beautiful.”  Seekers will come, and they will stay if we lead with the beautiful. We “lead with the beautiful” by telling stories of God’s work in our own lives. People are looking for something that connects with their everyday life — stories of answered prayer, how God helped through a difficult situation, or how God sent a “sign” affirming you. When we tell those stories in natural, easy ways, people will remember them. Your story is tucked away in a person’s memory giving them the time to process who Jesus is, what he’s done and the difference he makes. Once we share our story, we can relax because we trust that the Holy Spirit will work in the hearts of those hearing the message.

In less than two weeks, the Church will celebrate the feast of All Saints Day. This feast give us an opportunity to recall the great saints of the Church like St. Monica, St. Francis, and St. Jude. It’s also a time to remember our own saints, friends, and family members who have gone before us, who never made the headlines. They lived quiet, holy lives in our neighborhoods and parishes blessing us with their kindness and generosity. Now, we can go to them and ask for their intercession and help, because death cannot separate us from Christ or from one another (Romans 8:38).

May I share one more story…… A woman inquired about the RCIA. She let me know that her husband died a year ago. Though her husband was raised Catholic, he didn’t practice his faith during their marriage. When he was near death, he asked to be reconciled with the Church. A priest came to his bedside, heard his confession, and visited him until the time of his death. After coming back to the Church, her husband’s anxiety left him and was replaced with a sense of peace. Now that he was gone, she felt terribly lonely and sad. A letter arrived on All Saints Day. Inside was a note signed by all the 6th grade students at St. Michael School explaining that during the month of November they would be praying everyday for her husband (and all parishioners who died this past year). She cried tears of gratitude for God’s providential love. It was then that she decided to seek initiation into the Church. A week before the Easter Vigil, she visited this 6^th grade class and shared her story with them. 

Lead with the beautiful!

 

 

Journaling Questions

 

Recall an experience from your life in which you sought a saint’s intercession.  What effect did it have on you? What were your feelings, concerns, questions, and delights?  If you were to tell this story, what would you say?

Remember the saints you have known personally?  How did they inspire you?

How do the saints help you to know God better?

 

 

 

Listen to God's Heartbeat In Prayer

"How's your prayer life?" I remember being asked. I looked at my friend in surprise and asked, "Are you talking to me?" I knew she was, but I was stalling for time, because I didn't pray. "I volunteer at the church. Isn't that prayer enough?" She persisted, "That restlessness you've been moaning about is because you have no prayer life!" "Yeah, right!" I said dripping in sarcasm. Still, my restlessness got worse! Better reconsider and give this praying thing a chance, I thought. It can't get any worse.
 

"How do I pray?" I asked. My friend suggested I start by setting a place aside in my home - a prayer space -- where I would pray. My translation - It's time to go shopping for a prayer table! Walmart had a great little side table and pretty tablecloth. The local Catholic bookstore had a beautiful standing crucifix and a print of Jesus praying in the Garden of Gethsemane. At Marshalls I found the perfect frame for my Gethsemane print. From the corner of my eye, I saw a beautiful crystal bowl that I could use as a prayer bowl - dropping in the names of the people who asked for prayers. I arranged the prayer table in the corner of my bedroom. I set a chair beside it and re-upholstered its seat cushion to match the new tablecloth. Perfect!

One morning, my husband sitting on the edge of the bed putting on his socks and shoes, shook and shook the bed while I was trying to sleep. "Can't you sit on the chair to put on your shoes?" I snapped. He looked over to the chair by the prayer table, then looked back at me, and said, "That place is too holy to sit at!" Truth be told, it had been six months since I arranged the space and I had yet to sit there myself!
 

Why is it so hard to pray? Yes, life is busy -- hurried, pressured, and distracted -- days begin and end without one thought of God. Truly, that's not the whole story. Dare I say it - sometimes praying is boring. It's not that I don't want to pray, but other things peak my interest. I'm checking e-emails and Facebook, texting my friends, and watching the news all before I eat breakfast! I drive listening to the radio, talking on the cell phone, and planning my day's to-do list. I get home and turn on the television again, catch up with my husband, and power down by watching Netflix. The spiritual writer Henri Nouwen said it best, "I want to pray, but I also don't want to miss out on anything - television, movies, socializing with friends, drinking in the world."
 

The restlessness continues and nothing satisfies deeply. God places in every heart the desire to seek him. We ache for God. The wonder of prayer is that it is God who speaks first calling each person to this mysterious encounter with Himself. (CCC 2591) "Prayer has a single aim: to draw us and our loved ones into deeper intimacy with Christ; it is prayer that opens us up ... that we hear God say to us, 'I love you.' For only that can make us whole," explains Fr.Ronald Rolheiser.  

Prayer is truly a discipline. St. Teresa of Avila advises to persevere in the struggle:  "We must have a determination to never give up prayer."  The devil will do all he can to trick us into believing that we are wasting our time in prayer and that there are many more noble and worthy pursuits that should override prayer." Park Avenue advertising tells us, "Why do something if your heart isn't in it?" Prayer has an ebb and flow. At times our hearts are burning and sometimes our emotions flat line. The lesson from all the great mystics is that you show up for prayer and you show up regularly regardless of how you feel today. Fidelity to prayer reveals our abiding commitment to friendship and intimacy with Christ despite feelings and mood to the contrary. 

At the Last Supper the Gospel writer, John, depicts the Beloved Disciple as resting on the breast of Jesus, hearing Jesus' heartbeat. This image is an icon of intimacy and oneness describes Fr. Rolhesier: "When our ear is pressed to God's heart - to the breast of all that is good, true, and beautiful - we hear a certain heartbeat and we remember..... at a place beyond thought, that we were once gently kissed by God." Here then is our deepest longest. To feel that kiss again, to hear God's heartbeat, we need prayer.
 

P.S. I eventually sat in the chair. With practice and perseverance, in the ebb and flow of my seasons of prayer, I can hear God's heartbeat.

 

Journaling with Jesus

 

What restlessness in your life has kept you from hearing God's heartbeat?

What do you need to do to quiet yourself to experience God's presence in prayer?

 

  

Resting in God's Presence

by Fr. Rolheiser, Prayer: Our Deepest Longing
 
Choose a place where you can sit quietly, comfortably for 15 minutes or more. If I will help you relax, set a timer so you will know when it is time to end your prayer.

Read a short passage of Scripture or some other spiritual reading, then put the reading aside.

 
Close your eyes or focus your gaze on a candle flame, a beautiful icon, or a peaceful image.  Imagine yourself in the presence of God, a God who yearns to be close to you. Some people find it helpful to silently repeat a simple word or phrase: “Jesus.” “Blessed be God.” “Hosanna” “Lord, have mercy.”

 

If you begin to feel anxious or to worry that you are not “doing it right,” remember the words of a holy peasant who, when asked to share his secret to deep prayer, said simply, “I just look at God, and I let God look at me.” Anyone who has ever been in love will know the power of those words. It is enough to be relaxed and quiet in the presence of God, ready to receive and to return God’s loving glance.

 

 

 

Practice the Presence of God

Do you have a personal relationship with Jesus? I’m asked this question rather often? I don’t know how to answer, because I really don’t understand the question. I believe that Jesus is God, my Lord, and my Savior. I follow the precepts of the Church; live a sacramental life, even though I fall short too many times. I pray, but not as often or as fervently as I should. I continue to wonder, "Do I have a personal relationship with Jesus?"

My sense is that "a personal relationship with Jesus" is about experiencing some kind of dramatic emotional experience, a bolt of lightning that causes a sudden surge of faith like St. Paul on the road to Damascus. I have always believed in Jesus, being born into a Catholic home and raised in the Church. Knowing that Jesus is one with God the Father, my relationship with Jesus was based upon my image of God; and God was a police officer enforcing the laws. I didn’t want God to show up, because it would be like seeing blue lights in my rear view mirror. BUSTED! I went to Mass, prayed, and helped my neighbor out of fear that if I didn’t God would become angry, punish me or worse yet send me to Hell.

Then one day something happened. "Mommy, look at me!" shouted my son as he leaped for the monkey bars. He missed and came crashing down with the weight of his body falling on his arm breaking it. Surgery and an overnight stay at the hospital left us both traumatized. A week later I sat at Mass reliving the accident over and over in my head feeling powerless, scared, and exhausted. Then I heard the choir singing, "Be not afraid, I go before you always, come follow me and I will you rest." Immediately I knew God was speaking to me. God knew my suffering; he wasn’t blaming me; he was comforting me.

My eyes opened and my image of God changed. God wasn’t in heaven pointing a radar gun trying to catch me in wrongdoing. He was down in the trenches with me ministering to my needs. Now I see God as a loving Father; Jesus as my friend. I speak to him when I am worried or carefree, afraid or confident, miserable or happy. My personal relationship with Jesus is more than a rush of good feelings; rather it’s a commitment to connect my heart and mind to his. I listen for the promptings of the Holy Spirit that may come from the outside through the people I meet, the work I do, and the nature I see. Sometimes the Spirit speaks to me from within inspiring me to conform my life to Christ. In all things I ask, "Where is God in this? What is God calling me to? How will I respond?"

God calls each of us into an intimate relationship asking us to do all things with Him. He

wants us to be aware of his presence as we make our way in the world. For this reason, God became man. When we look upon the face of Jesus, we look upon the face of God and experience God’s compassion, forgiveness, and mercy.

We tend to complicate matters by inventing rules and methods to remind ourselves to live in the presence of God. Yet it might be so simple tells us Brother Lawrence: "Is it not quicker and easier just to do our common business wholly for the love of him? The time of business does not with me differ from the time of prayer; and in the noise and clatter of my kitchen, while several persons are at the same time calling for different things; I possess God in as great tranquility." We become fully who God created us to be when we listen, talk, and walk continuously with God throughout our day.

There is no corner that God is not present, there no activity in which God is uninterested, and there is no inappropriate time to talk with God that he is not listening. When we love one

another, forgive one another, bear one another’s burdens; when we work to build up a just and peaceful community, we experience God’s presence in the common events of everyday life. As we learn to gradually live in God’s presence, we know God more intimately as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Day-by-day we see God’s hand in all of things and hear his voice speak to us in the silence of our hearts and minds.

God is very close to us now. We begin to think of Him, turn to him, and to love him. We never walk alone again. With confidence we answer, "Yes! I have a personal relationship with Jesus."

Journaling with Jesus

When you hear the question, "Do you have a personal relationship with Jesus?" what thoughts, emotions, ideas, or images does it evoke for you?

Do you see your own life as an ongoing journey or pilgrimage? How are you growing in your relationship with Christ?

Are you aware of the guidance of the Holy Spirit on that journey?

How can you always be with God? How can you carry on a loving conversation with God?

Do We Really Need Church?

Why do we need Church?  Why can’t we follow Jesus without going to Church?  It’s important for us to know the “why” because our understanding affects how we live out our faith and become Church. The New Evangelization offers an opportunity to rediscover our Catholic faith as a complete way of life that is inseparable from the Church and its liturgy, sacraments, preaching, and mission.

A lot has changed in the Church in the past 50 years. The Church of my youth is not the Church of my present.  The world I grew up in was Catholic.  When asked where I was from, I answered, “Sts. Simon and Jude.”  My parents marked time by the Church calendar.  Holy Days of Obligation and Feast Days were more important than birthdays! “Buon Onomastico!” (Happy “Saint Name Day”) were the well wishes I would receive from Aunts and cousins on the Feast of St. Anthony.  Though I never had a birthday party, my First Communion and Confirmation parties were beyond grand!  Everyone was there! Lent began with a huddle of all my cousins bragging about what they were going to give up. Wednesdays and Fridays were meatless.

Going to Church on Sunday was not something to be negotiated; it was expected.  My brother and I walked to Church by ourselves.  My mother went to the early morning Italian Mass, so she could get home in time to start the sauce.  “Going to confession” wasn’t terrifying; at least once a month, the Catholic school took us to church and we lined up outside the confessional.  No one complained.  Actually, we would giggle when someone lingered longer in the confessional wondering what their penance would be! At the center of all my experiences and memories is the “Church.” As I look back on it, the church was at the center of my Catholic identity. I belonged to something larger than myself that somehow lived inside of me too. 

Sadly, for many the Church no longer stands as the center of Catholic life.  Of those raised in the Church from childhood, a Pew Forum Study (2008) found that one in three cradle Catholics leave. Catholics, who leave, leave early.  By age 18, about 50% leave the Church and by mid-twenties, 80% are gone. Those who identify themselves as “practicing Catholics” report going to Mass only about once a month.  Church attendance is plummeting from 47% in the 1970s to 24% in the 21^st century.

It seems we want Jesus minus the Church. Young people believe the Church is old-fashioned and outdated and needs to change its stance on issues of homosexuality, contraception, abortion, and same-sex marriage. Others are turned off by the Church’s history with the Crusades and the Inquisition and most recently, the sex scandal.  Others still object to the Church as an institution of rules demanding obedience.  But the most disheartening is not the “objections” to Church but the indifference. Most people are absent from Church not because they are brooding about its faults, but rather are sleeping in, mowing the lawn, shopping, or playing sports.  People consider themselves spiritual, not religious.

Sometimes it feels like it’s a losing battle.  We are tempted to throw up our hands in defeat.  But it’s not a lost cause.   Even though people don’t attend Church often, they do want church.  How else can we explain the packed churches on Ash Wednesday, Christmas and Easter? This is a perfect opportunity to connect again with members of our church family and invite them “back” next week and the week after that.  Pope Francis reminds us, “The Church is not a refuge for sad people. The Church is a house of joy.”

The heart needs a vision to ignite passion for the Church, because “Where there is no vision, the people will perish” (Proverbs 29:18). We need a vision for this place and time that will inspire people, young and old, to rediscover the beauty of the Church. The Church is a love story Pope Francis tells the crowds of young people gathered on World Youth Day in Brazil.  It’s not a bureaucratic organization.  The Church, he said, is "something else. The Church begins in the heart of the Father, who had this idea . . . of love. Each of us is a link in this chain of love. And if we do not understand this, we have understood nothing of what the Church is."

After Jesus’ death, resurrection, and ascension, to assure his continuing presence on earth, Jesus gave us the Church.  The Vatican Council II describes the Church as the universal sacrament by which Jesus continues to be present to us, speak to us, and act among us. A sacrament is defined as a sign revealing God’s presence. Jesus is a sacrament of God, because when we look upon the face of Jesus, we look upon the face of God and experience his compassion, forgiveness, and mercy.  The Church then is a sacrament of Jesus as it prays, teaches, works, and gathers its people in Christ.

We go to Church because God calls us there.  God calls us to worship Him and link ourselves to each other.  In doing so, we follow the two great commandments:  Love God and love your neighbor.  Truly, it is more precise to say that we don’t belong to a Church; we are the Church.  The Church is people, you and me, each using with our unique gifts and talents to build God’s kingdom on earth. As Saint Avila prays, “Ours are the feet with which He is to go about doing good. Ours are the hands with which He is to bless others.”  Together we have one common call from Jesus; we are one Body called to serve.

Our spiritual memories of growing up in the Church show us it is through relationships that we come to see the face of Jesus.  God’s own life is lived in relationship with the son, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit.  God is a communion of persons.  God invites us to live in communion with one another in the Church.  In the sacrament of Baptism, we become members of the Body of Christ in the Church, and the Church becomes our mother who nurtures us throughout life with her preaching, teaching, and sacraments, especially the Eucharist.

If we only see the church as a hierarchical institution, we will never love and appreciate the beauty that the Church is.  Jesus asks each of us to take the Church into our hearts and love and care for her, not as we’d like her to be, but as the Church Jesus intends her to be—His bride and our mother.  

 

Journaling with Jesus

Begin with a few minutes of silent prayer to become aware of God's presence and ask the Holy Spirit to speak to your heart. Then focus on the questions for personal reflection and journaling.

What do you love most about the Church? How did you come to value this?

What teachings do you struggle with? How do you go about living with the tension?

 If someone asked you, "Why go to Church?" how would you respond?

Listen for Jesus' response through Scripture, personal insight, and encounters with others. What do you think Jesus might be saying to you at this time?

 

 

News of the Resurrection: Do You Recognize the Risen Lord?

The disciples' plans, dreams, and hopes for a savior king were obliterated on Good Friday when Jesus is beaten, scourged, and nailed to a tree next to common criminals. Unlike the disciples, overcome with despair, we know how the story ends. Victory is ours! Easter morning is in essence a flashback for us. The tomb is empty. Good triumphs over evil and life conquers death. We wait in joyful expectation to hear the good news that Jesus is risen. We prepare the celebration!  

WAIT! There's a twist ending to the Easter story. The risen hero is not recognized by the disciples! Mary Magdalene returns to the tomb with spices to anoint Jesus' body and finding the tomb empty she turns to the gardener and asks, "Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have laid him, and I will take him away." Except the gardener IS Jesus! Later that day, two men walking the road to Emmaus have a chance encounter with a stranger who chide them for their "slowness of heart" to believe what the Scriptures had foretold about Jesus. They too do not recognize the stranger as the risen Jesus until he broke bread with them. A third time, Jesus stands on the beach calling out to the Apostles in a fishing boat, but they do not recognize him.  

Why is it difficult to recognize the risen Lord? St. Augustine proposes that the horror of seeing Jesus hanging on the cross shocked them so deeply that the disciples forgot Jesus' promise that he would rise on the third day. They never thought to "look" for his resurrection. Their grief, despair and disappointment were so great that it may have triggered a crisis in faith. Is this true for us? Do we doubt God when suffering finds us; when we are not saved, when there is no magic cure, no miraculous recovery, and no legions of angels to take away our pain? Are these the times when we lose faith; when we don't believe enough or trust enough? 

For a long while nothing was working. The writing was on wall; it was time to make a change. Frozen in fear, I persisted in misery. What if what comes next is worse than this? Would God open another door? "Jump and the net will appear!" a faith-filled friend would say. I'm not sure he'll put out a net for me, I confessed to a priest. "Look back on your life and remember other difficult times in your life," the priest counseled. "Was God there? If God was there then, what makes you think you won't be there for you now?" I flashed back on my life. Indeed! God was "there" time and time again! Taking courage, I jumped.

 

We face many deaths in our lifetime -- shattered dreams, disappointments, life's unfairness, and loss. How do we trust that when the suffering and death is finished the final word is not despair and death, but a new spirit of life? Otherwise we risk being like Mary Magdalene clinging to an old body - to what once was - and not recognizing God's presence walking beside us in the new life we are living now.

 

The first step to experience new life is to grieve wrote Henri Nouwen: "Mourn, my people, mourn. Let your pain rise up in your heart and burst forth in you with sobs and cries. Mourn the silence that exists between you and your spouse. Mourn the way you were robbed of your innocence. Mourn for the absence of a soft embrace, an intimate friendship, a life-giving sexuality. Mourn for the abuse of your body, your mind, your heart. Mourn for the bitterness of your children, the indifference of your friends and your colleagues' hardness of heart. Cry for freedom, for salvation, for redemption. Cry loudly and deeply, and trust that your tears will make your eyes see that the Kingdom is close at hand, yes, at your fingertips."

 

Unless we mourn our deaths and losses and all the life that we once had but that has now passed us by, we will live angry, bitter, and disappointed cautions Richard Rolhesier. We need to name our deaths, grieve what we have lost and adjust to the new reality. We do not cling to the old, but let it ascend to heaven. Then we embrace the new spirit of life we are already living. Rolhesier describes this as the paschal cycle that we must undergo, not just once, but each time when we lose our earthly lives as we know them.

I experienced a long hard year filled with anger and grief at what should not have happened, what I had lost, and what I wanted but did not get. I cried in anguish at not being fulfilled in the present and not having a clear vision or plan of where, what, or how to make it right. I sobbed to God, "Are you done with me? Is that it? There's nothing more for me to do?" One morning I woke up and realized that I was living a new life, richer and deeper as a result of what I had experienced, endured, and survived. My eyes were open to see God's providential care in the midst of my sorrow. Jesus promise of new life was true and now I live renewed in faith and trust in His promises.

 

Mary Magdalene did not recognize Jesus at first and thinks him to be the gardener. When

Jesus called her by name, she recognizes him right away! She runs to the disciples proclaiming, "I have seen the Lord!" One day we will see God face to face and there will be no more tears. Until then, our job is to daily carrying our crosses and daily rising to new life. In good times and bad, God will see us through.

"Lord Jesus Christ, open the eyes of my heart to recognize your presence with me and to understand the truth of your saving word. Nourish me with your life-giving word and with the bread of life,"  by Don Schwager  



Journaling with Jesus

Begin with a few minutes of silent prayer to become aware of God's presence and ask the Holy Spirit to speak to your heart. Then focus on the questions for personal reflection and journaling.

 

Do I recognize Jesus' presence in my daily life, and do I see his loving hand in the events of my life?

Is there anyone who has been a messenger of Jesus for me? Who? How? When?

In the past, when have I found my trust in God put to the test? What did I learn from that experience? List the reasons that come to mind for trusting God no matter what.

 
Listen for Jesus' response through Scripture, personal insight, and encounters with others. What do you think Jesus might be saying to you at this time?

Behold Your Mother

I thought Mary's life would be spared from suffering after being greeted by an angel of the Lord as full of grace and highly favored by God. Quite the opposite; Mary suffered many sorrows beginning with a prophecy of doom. When Mary presented her infant son to the Temple as prescribed by Jewish law, an old man Simeon told Mary that a sword would pierce her soul. The prophecy is fulfilled on Good Friday as she watches her son mocked, tortured and crucified.
 
Mary is with Jesus at the beginning of his public ministry in Cana, and at the end of his ministry at the foot of the Cross. At the Wedding Feast of Cana, Jesus addresses his mother as Woman and then again at the Cross, he calls her Woman. At Cana, Jesus tells his mother that his "hour" has not yet come; now on Good Friday the "hour" is here. The "hour" is Mary's too and her heart breaks with every hammer blow of the nails in her son's hands and feet.

Mary stands at the foot of the cross with the beloved disciple, John witnessing it all. She hears Jesus say "Woman, behold your son." And to the beloved disciple he says, "Son, behold your mother." Jesus' words go beyond simply providing for his mother's welfare; he is establishing a new relationship in which Mary becomes the mother of us all. As Woman, Jesus bequests her with universal motherhood. The beloved disciple left unnamed stands for all humanity to take Mary as our Mother. Archbishop Fulton Sheen describes it this way, "As a son, he thought of his mother; as a Savior, he thought of us. So he gave us his mother: 'Behold thy mother.' Jesus gave us his Mother for all time to nurture, protect, teach, and guide us in the ways of Christ."
 
Mary holds a special place in my heart. When I was about 10 years old, I woke up in the middle of the night sobbing in fear. Earlier that day around noon we experienced a total eclipse of the sun. The media warned not to look at the sky during the eclipse, because it might lead to blindness. I didn't look at noon, but I did at midnight. Now, I was petrified. The moon was brilliant and I feared I would go blind. I was inconsolable. My mom placed a 2-inch glow in the dark plastic statue of Mary in the palm of my hand and prayed a Hail Mary. Go to sleep, she said, "La Madonna" will protect you. I slept soundly and when I woke up, I could see!

My mother on earth knew I was never in any danger of going blind. She taught me to trust my mother in heaven with my fears and worries. From that day forward, I surrender them to the Blessed Mother. As a new mom, I sought Mary's intercession when I was clueless on how to parent. When I left the boys with a sitter, I would pray to Mary to take them under her care as the garage door rolled down. Now that the boys drive, I ask Mary to keep watch over them.

"Place a statue of me at the front of your house," I heard the Blessed Mother say in the interior of my heart. "Here, in North Carolina?!" This is not Brooklyn where every stoop has a statue of Mary, St. Anthony, St. Francis, Padre Pio, or the Sacred Heart of Jesus. Where would I even find a Mary statue? Within the week there in the store window was a statue of Mary! My dad, who happened to be visiting, is an old-world Italian who believes that church is only for women. He saw my Mary statue and insisted, "Let me arrange the spot, otherwise, if you don't do it right, the wind will knock it down." I will never forget the site of my dad kneeling in front of the statue while digging the ground to prepare a place for Mary. Many blustery thunderstorms and hurricanes have come and gone, the statue has never tipped over! A neighbor tapped me on the shoulder several months later to tell me, "I saw the Mary statue in your yard and I was reminded how I used to pray the rosary before bed. It's been a long time since I prayed. I started praying the rosary again. I even sleep with a set of rosary beads under my pillow."

About a year ago I encountered Mary in prayer while attending a retreat on the "Life Lessons of Mary." I had been grieving a personal hurt for a long while. I was a mess. No one understood the depth of my pain. Mary looked straight at me and said, "I know." From that moment on, my healing began. These are but of few of my life experiences with my spiritual mom. I love her dearly. Thank you, Jesus for giving me your mother to be mine too.

Mary is a source of consolation to more people than any other woman in history. Whether its parents grieving over the loss of a child or men and women struggling with poverty or injustice, people place their prayers in Mary. We look to Mary to imitate her prayerfulness, bravery, and faithfulness. To love Mary is to love Jesus.
Mary's last words recorded in Scriptures are "Do whatever he tells you." Mary lived her entire life in obedience to those words. St. Augustine describes Mary as the prime disciple: by her yes to the angel of God, she surrendered her plan for her life and gave way to God's plan. Not my will be done, but your will be done. "Mary's greatness consists of the fact that she wants to magnify God, not herself," says Pope Benedict XVI. Mary always leads us closer to Jesus. Mary's motherly advice to "Do his will" points us to the Jesus, the way of salvation.

"Christ himself willed to be physically formed in Mary for nine months and then be spiritually formed by her for 30 years. It is to Mary that we must go to learn how to have Christ formed in us. Only she who raised Christ can raise a Christian," explains Archbishop Fulton Sheen.
 
This Lent, let us ask our Mother to, "Make our hearts a suitable place to adore Jesus."